Meeting someone and courting them is just the beginning of getting to really know a person. I always heard the older folks using the phrase “you don’t really know a person until u start living with them”. When a couple loves each other and decides to become one through matrimony, that dosen’t mean they know each other fully. It means that they just started to learn about each other. Learning about one another could take months and years, everyday goes by, we either learn something good or bad about the person we fell in love so dearly with.
Marriage is a union between two persons merging together to become one. Marriage should be official and permanent, not cut short by divorce. I may not be an expert on marriage or neither have been married for decades, but my eight years of experience has opened my mind and heart to having a successful marriage till this date. Our marriage is not perfect, we have our ups and downs, our good times and bad times, our disagreements and heartbreak at times. We have fights and quarrels just like any other couple does, but I remember an old sister in church saying to me, ” do not let the sun go down without making mends with each other or we would wake up with the same haste as we went to bed with.”
God should have a place in your marriage, your marriage should be an open book to God. Remember we cannot hide anything from God, he sees everything that goes on in our minds and hearts. Block out the worldy things that brings problems to your marriage. Strengthen your marriage by praising God each and every day. If you have kids, your priority after God is your family, they come first before everything else. We tend to put things in front our marriage and family life, then when our marriage is not working out we blame each other and sometimes God. We start treatening to leave, we start frustrating each other by treating each other very harshly. Cursing out, fighting without reasoning, slamming doors at each other and many other evil thoughts and deeds. Futher more, we do not think about the kids that would be affected by a broken marriage/family. We don’t realize that the children are alive, they can hear and see, they observe, we think they don’t understand but they do. So next time u tell a child it is none of their business, or this is between adults or even they are to small to understand, think twice because it affects them the most. We as adults think about the hurt and pain we endure but what about the hurt and pain your child/ children have to face.
The most common word used in a marriage is LOVE. 1corinthians 13:7 says- Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” When trials comes your way be hopeful. As you go through each day together think of what legacy you would want to leave behind for the kids, is it LOVE or HATE? Encourage each other, start supporting each other, your welfare of your marriage lies in your hands. At times couples go through a crisis in their marriage, it doesn’t mean as soon as a crisis arises we start speaking of divorce. Many times we can still put the pieces back together, but we fail to try, we become lazy in doing the work to fix the damage in the marriage. Instead of closing the door in your marriage, make an attempt to get some help in areas where needed. Get some marriage councilling, attend marriage retreats, spend some quality time together without any distractions of the world. Pray together about the problems in your marriage and pray that God strengthen your marriage. There is an old saying that a lot of persons use ” a family that prays together, stays together”. Avoid daily attractions of life, focus on your relationship. When I say attractions, I mean all distractions. I’v seen spouses putting their work first, technology first, friends first, alcohol and drugs first, money first instead of their marriage/family life. Instead of being on social media all the time, on your phone, on the computer, on your tablet, try spending that time doing something together. Play games together, read together, watch a movie together, have an out door activity together. There are so many things you can do together that can save a marriage from falling apart.
When we spend time together as a married couple we bond together, we form an unbreakable alliance, it gives us less time to lust upon things that should not matter in our lives or even be concentrated on at all. All worldly things would not have space to enter into the marriage, then we would be less tempted to partake of them. All marriages has challenges, but if we decide to face those challenges, it will determine if the marriage will fall apart or hold together, so be careful how you approach those challenges. People tend to forget the vows that were made when they got married. Marriage is bonded under the eyes of God, “God hates divorce”(Malachi 2:16). Marriage is meant to be a special covenant between a man and woman and God. (Matthew 19:3-9)- ” the Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause.? And he answered and said unto them, have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they two shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man separate.
Even if we don’t take our marriage seriously, we should understand that God is a serious God.
Proverbs 20:25-says ” it is a snare for a man to devote rashly something as holy, and afterward to reconsider his vows.”
Only a God fearing person would give their all to saving a marriage from stumbling and falling. So are you a God fearing person?
Milz🤗- “you will find peace in Christ”- if you find interest in the article please like ad share.